Bertunang dan berkahwin ni nampak indah tapi realitinya hanya yang melalui je tahu. Siapa yang rancang nak bertunang tu, korang tengok ujian dan cabaran yang selalu orang bertunang hadap. Ikut dan hayati baik baik , yang mana buruk jadikan tauladan dan yang mana baik ambil sebagai pedoman 🌸
Situasi 1: DIUJI DENGAN MASALAH KEWANGAN
godaan: gunalah duit sikit untuk melabur. lepas dua tiga bulan dapat duit lebih, boleh guna tampung majlis. kahwin banyak pakai duit. kurang sike...
Continue ReadingGetting engaged and married looks beautiful but the reality is only those who know. Whoever plans to get engaged, look at the tests and challenges that people always get engaged in. Follow and appreciate good good, which is bad make an example and which is better take as a guideline 🌸
Situation 1: TESTED WITH FINAL PROBLEMS
Temptation: use some money to invest. After two three months of earning extra money, you can use the event. Married a lot with money. Just a little less now. later can replace more
IMPORTANT NOTE: make sure the ready-kept marriage money is not teased by side. If you have extra money, you can use it. But if that money is enough for marriage needs. It's good to prioritize the important thing, discuss with your partner to decide. There's one case, regretting myself because of using dowry money to join the business, at last, I didn't get money Wedding has to be tough
Situation 2. PRESENTATION OF UNLIMITED GUEST (ex)
temptation: i love you again. If I propose to you? I'm waiting for you. I'm willing to wait for you until you divorce and etc
IMPORTANT REMINDER: why did she become an ex? because she is EXperienced! let go and start! Appreciate those who appreciate more. if it wasn't a good love before. it's time to prove we can be the best love! Let go.. start a new story that can be the most beautiful story for children and grandchildren. God willing.
Situation 3: TESTED WITH ATTITUDE
temptation: suddenly engagement becomes too sensitive, angry, less patient
IMPORTANT NOTE, when you want to marry. Definitely putting us in a stressful level. Because there's a lot of things to think about, settled. Added to the feeling of commitment (feeling like a husband, wife), so he becomes more care. Simple things become complicated. The devil has added a dose to cancel the good things. It's getting more exploding! Patience.. this time everyone has to play a role. You won't settle things in anger. Invite to pray, to study. take ablution. When two two are calm. Discuss without emotion. the important thing is. Remember the original intention! Married because of Allah. Look at the problem. Discuss the discharge. Don't focus on the cause. lower your ego and learn to accept and listen. insyaAllah will be better than before fighting.
Situation 4: TESTED WITH HOUBT
temptation: do you want to marry him? but why?. don't you feel young anymore? Many more ambitions to achieve? Are you ready to be a wife? and etc
This one is all natural. Married because I want to accept Allah. If you want to chase the world, until when will we stop chasing? maybe we die running after him. Stop thinking negatively! No one is ready. The most important thing is try to be ready. Seek knowledge (read books, talk and others). Is it a question that I can't be a wife or a daughter that's the experience. Repair from mistakes. example, cooking is not delicious, after this fix the cooking. We won't be perfect. But we can work hard, right? Change the mindset!
Temptation II: is it true that I want to marry him. If you want to say (rich or handsome or good or good or....) that A person looks better than my fiance
* istigfar. back with the original intention. Married because of what? This is a partner even though we clearly see the shortcomings, his weaknesses, we can't hate. even though her face may be full of acne and others. We feel calm looking at it. When you fight, you still feel like being together. Praying to Allah so that the love of him will be stronger, the love of Allah is stronger
Situation 5. PRESSURE OF FAMILY & FAMILY OF FUTURE HUSBAND
Temptation: When you know the family of future couples, setting up dowry, etc, there may be a terrible sense of their decision.
No matter what, we don't judge someone too quickly while we don't know them completely.
Family, feeling hearted in the family, starting to feel right to my mother-in-law will like me, is it true that my brother-in-law will be willing to me, this is all from the devil who always haunts us to cancel our good intentions
Situation 6. STARTING TO BE CAREFUL
After all sorts of tests came over, some of them started to give up and weren't interested in continuing the engagement period.
Survey first the cause of giving heart and try to solve it as long as you can.
Situation 7. EMOTIONS ARE NOT STABILOUS
Some are not happy to sit down when tying the engagement rope. Sometimes sad, angry, too happy, and some keep thinking of his fiance while some have long known his own heart.
When you're friends, you might not feel how serious this relationship is, and how committed you are to a marriage that's about to happen. So, maybe this reason makes you restless and anxious.
Situaso 8. AFRAID OF WRONG DECISION
Temptation: Between phobia and challenges during engagement, some start to show up the real 'attitude'. So, you start to feel doubtful about your choice.
According to Suzana Ghazali, a Syarie Family Psychology Consultant, the Islamic Family Law decides that an individual can obtain a replacement if an engagement is decided by the other side without a strong reason.
Thus, you deserve to receive any form of your gift to her, especially if you spent a lot of money on a wedding to be held.
Situation 9. JEALOUS BLIND
Oh yes, sometimes there are people who suddenly get too jealous and always want to control their fiance's movement. This is a challenge when engagement is common.
While this man is not yet entitled to be obeyed by the woman before pronouncing the marriage ceremony. So is a woman who doesn't have the right to ask for any form of burden from the man.
However, as a Muslim, we must keep our friendship even where we are, whether we are engaged or not
Situation 10. BUSY OF WEDDING MARRIAGE
Busy ahead of wedding ceremony! In the last moment, it's not impossible that it doesn't go as planned. However, this is beyond our control.
Challenges during engagement among them can happen technical mistakes in quotations, change in ceremony, wedding dresses don't fit or wrong sewing, and more
p / s: just share good intentions, want to be halal. It's not easy, there are many challenges that have to be taken before the legal bond.
Want to get married right. whatever it is, every test. Seek Allah! The test is a sign that we need to be stronger with God. May this sharing be blessed. May Allah accept it. Actually, as Muslims, we have to believe that all the challenges during engagement that come are from Allah, as a test to His servants.
Therefore, no matter what the challenges when engaged happen, we should always accept and ask for help from the Almighty. Truly, Allah knows more about something we don't know.
In addition, try to get closer to Allah before we set foot in the household, in preparation of being the leader and mentor of the family institutions that will be established.
As in surah Al-Imran verse 54:
′′ And They Plan, Allah also plans, And ALLAH is the best Planner ′′
📸: Elshaa NatashaaTranslated
how to calm down from anger 在 CheckCheckCin Facebook 的最佳貼文
【人人也失眠】睡過後卻更疲累
#壓力傷肝難入眠
#睡得好才有精神
#星期一BlueMonday
兩招減壓好入眠
近來睡得很少,又比平時更難入睡?睡臥不寧,多夢易醒,伴有煩躁易怒,胸脅脹滿,常常嘆氣等,屬於中醫不寐中的肝膽鬱熱型。最近社會氣氛緊張,意見分岐,大家都被負面新聞包圍,身心俱疲,但諷刺地晚上閉上雙眼也不能入眠。怎麼不是越困倦越能睡?肝膽鬱熱型的不寐是由惱怒傷肝,肝氣疏泄功能失調,氣鬱於體內日久而化火;或因為心情不好而喝多了酒、吃多了煎炸油膩重口味食物,溫熱聚於肝膽,蘊積化火。火熱上炎,擾亂神明,神明不能潛藏於心,心神不安,故睡臥不寧,多夢易醒。肝膽氣鬱所以煩躁易怒,胸脅脹滿,身體要透過唉聲嘆氣或放屁來疏導氣鬱。這時候如果被身邊人與事影響,睡前更應放下電話,稍微停止周邊資訊,讓自己身心休息一下。睡前拉拉筋舒展身體,另外解鬱更是調理重點,一杯疏肝理氣的茶療就最適合不過。
簡單睡前一招放鬆拉筋
瑜伽中有一個式子名為「嬰孩式」,大多數在瑜伽練習完畢前又或是較複雜的式子之中進行,以作放鬆身體和心情。式子如其名,像嬰孩在媽媽肚子裡的姿勢,有安心鬆弛的作用,可紓緩肌肉及情緒壓力,改善失眠,不妨在臨睡前在床上做5分鐘吧!
動作:跪在床上坐在腳跟上,臀部緊貼腳跟。上身扒下,雙手可輕放身旁或向前伸展,胸部緊靠大腿,慢慢呼吸。
洋甘菊桂花茶
材料:洋甘菊、桂花、適量蜂蜜(可自行選擇)
做法:將所有材料放入保溫瓶中,以熱水沖洗一次,加入熱水焗約5分鐘至有香氣,待茶變暖就可倒出加入蜂蜜即成。
功效:疏肝解鬱,紓緩精神壓力及鬱悶心情。
Two way to reduce stress for better sleep
Are you sleep less recently, and find it harder to fall asleep? Restless, frequent dream, easily awoken, accompanied by irritability, chest pain and frequent sighing are symptoms of insomnia. This is caused by liver and gallbladder qi stagnation and heat from the perspective of Chinese medicine. Recently, the social atmosphere is tense with divided opinions. People are often surrounded by negative news, and it is both physically and mentally exhausting. Ironically, you can not sleep at night. Why can't you sleep even though you are exhausted? Insomnia caused by liver and gallbladder qi stagnation and heat is caused by anger that hurt liver, liver qi dysfunction, qi stagnation in the body for a long time will cause heat. If you are drinking more due to your moods, eating more fried, greasy and heavy taste food, it further created heat in the liver and gallbladder and accumulates fire in the body. At this time, if you are affected by people and things around you, you should put down the phone before going to bed, stop the flow of information, and let yourself rest. Before going to bed, do some stretches. Reducing stress is also important so have a cup of tea to soothe your liver.
A simple stretch to do before sleep
There is a posture in yoga called "Child’s pose", mostly done before the end of a yoga sessjon or in a more complicated posture to relax the body and mind. As the name suggests, like a child in the mother's belly, which can calm the mind, relax your muscles, relieve stress and improve insomnia.
So let’s do this 5 minutes before going to sleep!
Method: Kneel on the bed and sit on your heels, hips should touch your heels. Bend down your upper body forward with hands forward or along the side of your body. Your chest should be on top of your thighs.
Sweet osmanthus tea with chamomile
Ingredients: chamomile, sweet osmanthus, appropriate amounts of honey (You may decide how much to add)
Preparation: rinse all ingredients thoroughly and place into thermos, rinse with hot water once. Then add in hot water again and steep for 5 minutes and add honey to taste when tea is warm.
Effects: relieves mental stress and depression
#男 #女 #我有壓力 #氣滯 #失眠 #頭痛
how to calm down from anger 在 步步Dana Facebook 的精選貼文
拒絕任何動物表演行為
去泰國不要騎大象看大象表演🐘
(English version below)
前陣子因為朋友阿莫去了趟大象志工,講述了許多故事與知識,覺得非常必須統整起來跟大家分享...(文長)。---at Elephant Nature Park(ENP)
▲簡單的認識是:
不鎖、不勾、不騎、不沖涼、不馬戲
Simple check list for elephants:
NO chain, NO bullhocks, NO ride, NO bath, NO performance
▲兩個關於大象的經歷:
🐘Mae Yu
1984年生
數度被強迫交配、搶走小孩,加上過度工作前腳受傷無法行走整體狀況極差,在被救援後不管大家如何努力她都沒有求生意志... 在嘗試各種方法後,大家決定幫她找回孩子。
非常幸運的,真的在馬戲中找到她的孩子Boi。
在他們相見那天,他們叫喊聲是響遍山谷的,維持許久(工作人員甚至也從沒聽過那樣的叫聲),他們相認相擁。終於Yui恢復進食,狀況才慢慢好轉。
他們真的真的非常幸運...因為被勞役、被拿來娛樂的甚至還有數千隻,他們有許多老了、跛了、瞎了,還有心理出狀況的。
🐘Mae Boonjan
在多次受孕後,最後一次生小孩時因為知道自己的孩子又快要被帶走,讓他想踩死自己的小孩Zuki,被馬戲訓練師制止並帶走。
在多次的打擊和崩潰而精神出了問題的Boonjan,在被救援後也還是無法與其他象和平共處,目前在林中依然獨處孤獨的生活著。
雖然ENP將Zuki找回,但也許因斷奶太久,Boonjan並不太認得自己的小孩,加上Zuki天生的缺陷也讓他不久後就夭折了。
被救援的象並不是免費的,在泰國一隻小象就要200萬泰銖,就算沒有利用價值的老象也要價幾十萬,因為他們還是可以被迫受孕,或奪走象牙、製作皮包.......。
*2/24 經歷更新:
在ENP陸續救援的數十隻象中,大部分都願意重新相信人類,但也會有無法平息苦痛與怒火的象⋯。例如其中一隻已傷害了不少人,在救援後甚至會試圖將靠近柵欄的人捲進去。
⋯過去他在馬戲工作,因選擇反抗而被戳瞎了眼(為了讓他失去方向感而乖乖就範),後來剛烈的他也許帶著赴死決心更強烈的反抗,導致他連左耳都被割下半只,最後被麻醉制服。人們不敢再靠近他,也決定要活活餓死他。
他的怒火,或許帶著超越我們想像的恐懼⋯。
被救援的他還是走來走去、發出尖叫聲、並試圖脫離圍欄。我們能同理,卻也真的無法體會他過去所承受的痛苦。
▲更多的是:
1. 香蕉對大象而言就像人類的甜食,其實吃多了也不好。
2. 大象用氣味辨識人,像聞鞋子、腳。
3. 大象甩耳是為了散熱,因耳朵遍布血管所以散熱快,並幫助身體降溫。
4. 大象有些喜歡玩水,但也有不喜歡的,而且會怕冷。他們喜歡泥巴浴可以保濕、驅蚊,觀光行程中的幫大象洗浴容易導致皮膚乾燥甚至潰爛。
5. 正常的象是有弧度的山丘狀背部,他們的脖子、象鼻強壯,可捲起500kg重物。但象背很脆弱,終年被騎乘下來背部會塌陷,有些甚至會導致膝蓋無法彎曲,連睡覺都要站著。
6. Phajaan儀式,會將象單獨關進一個只能站立的木製牢籠,除了剝奪水和食物外,他們還會不斷撥放噪音讓象保持清醒。
用尖銳的竹籤或釘子刺進他的腳趾、用象勾劃破耳朵。早晨和傍晚還必須被象勾抽打一小時。當象虛弱得無法站立時還會套上繩索勒住他們的頸部。
Phajaan 就是毀壞,摧毀象的意志,讓他們崩潰...再利用恐懼來進行"訓練"。而訓練的每一天都還是持續地被折磨...。
7. 被囚禁的他們運氣好的話一天能喝5-10公升的水(原應是140-200),只有乾棕櫚葉可吃。很多不聽話的象甚至被打斷腿...。
8. 大象強暴:許多象媽媽是被強迫交配的,他們的身心受到極大傷害,甚至一聞或看到公象就會拼命逃跑,但同時因為被鐵鍊鍊住的狀態導致他們臀部塌陷後肢殘障(Bualoi is one of them)。
9. 小象除了爸媽之外還有保母,保母會擔起照顧的責任亦步亦趨。爸媽一定會盡全力保護小象,反抗盜獵者的最後可能就是被殺掉...包括保母,他們才能帶走小象。
10. 被救援的象恢復期可能需要1-2年才能回到[較健康]的狀態,有些甚至在被解開鐵鍊時會強烈驚慌害怕到尿失禁,有人靠近就會要自己舌頭,也完全不敢進食⋯。
*2/28更新:
Ploy Thong 雙眼失明,估計約30歲,他於泰國芭堤雅待了16年,日復一日從大早到日落的載著遊客,用象鼻嗅探方向。在更早之前也曾待在馬戲團中。
在解救Bua Keaw時大象基金會的志工注意到Ploy的痛苦而與他的主人進行談判,終於去年(20180203)被ENP營救。到達象園的他發出低沈的聲音,吸引了在不遠叢林中的象群,他們都紛紛趕上前去迎接他,大家用象鼻親切的撫摸這隻盲象,象鼻纏繞著彼此。猜想他必定永遠不會忘記新家庭成員們的溫暖。(如有興趣可關鍵字搜尋Ploy Thong,此段有影片紀錄)
▲小插曲:
隔著一條河,位在ENP對面的即是以營利為目的的象營。可以看到他們一天到河邊洗了好多次澡,皮膚脆弱乾燥常常有傷口。那的象伕腰間掛著長勾,讓大象學人的姿勢坐下跪下以方便大家拍照,最後再讓他們騎上他的背,一次幾百塊。
阿莫問了ENP的工作人員:「難道都沒有大象逃跑過來嗎?」
他說:「幾個月前有一隻小象逃了過來,當時所有大象都停下動作,並走向這個孩子。
但很快的,他就被對面的公司捉回去了。當晚對面的河岸邊傳來小象的哭喊尖叫,而接下來的一個禮拜他都沒有再出來載客。(通常會被關在籠中防止逃跑,禁食挨餓,也免不了毒打)
那晚,園裏的大象們到了睡覺時間依然躁動、議論著、很不平靜。大家心裡也都十分難受卻都無能為力,因為一隻小象要價上百萬,而救援清單中還有200多隻狀況更緊急及情況更糟的大象們⋯。
除了希望大家把資訊傳遞出去外,也能一起祈求這隻小象、及其他還在受傷害的象們都能被更善待、被釋放,回歸自由與平安。
*象園中的大象們很多在ENP中有詳盡記錄,如果想認識他們也能到網站上搜尋,或想參與志工也能聯繫:www.elephantnaturepark.org
▲Two elephants experiences
🐘Mae Yui
''Mae Yui was the first elephant we rescued for this project. At that time, she was emotionally very ill. No matter how hard we tried to treat her wounds, she didn’t care. No willingness to thrive.
Mae Yui was forced to mate for three times and each time, her babies were taken away by the mahouts to undergo "Phajaan". Last time afterwards, she refused to work. That’s why the previous owner sold Mae Yui.
Fortunately, ENP actually found Mae Boi, the young baby of Mae Yui.
When Mae Yui and Mae Boi reunited. The moment they saw each other, they were roaring so loud, for so long. Anyone who heard that can deeply understand elephants are highly sentimental animals.
Once her baby Mae Boi returned, Mae Yui recovered shortly.''
🐘Mae Boonjan
The past of Mae Boonjan was as tragic as Mae Yui. She has been forced to breed for a few times in the industry (conventional practice). When she gave birth to her last baby Zuki, she knew the trainer would come and take it away soon. Or maybe Zuki was born disable - Mae Boonjan decided to kill her own baby.
And of course her mahout won’t let her do that (commercial considerations) – he stopped her and took away Zuki. Later ENP also rescued Zuki. However they separated for too long and Mae Boonjan could hardly remember Zuki. They didn’t make the bonding again. Since Zuki was born with defects, it died soon.
Mae Boonjan didn’t go along well with the group. She prefers to roam around on her own, quietly in the jungle.
The rescued elephant are not for free. In Thailand, a baby elephant will cost 2 million baht. Even if the old elephant without value is worth hundreds of thousands, they can still be forced to conceive, or take away ivory or make leather bags. ....
*2/24 update:
Among the dozens of elephants rescued by ENP, most are willing to believe in human beings again, but there are also some that can not calm the pain and anger... For example, one of them has hurt many people, even tried to involve people who near the fence after rescue.
In the past, he worked in a circus and was stabbed blind for choosing to resist (he was obedient in order to make him lose his sense of direction). Later, he might have the determination to die, and resist even stronger, which led to his left ear being cut off, and the end he was overcome by anesthesia. People were afraid to be closer any more and decided to starve him to death.
His anger, perhaps with more fear than we can imagine...
Now he was still walking around, screaming and trying to get out of the fence. We can understand, but never can really feel the pain he has experienced in the past.
▲ More is:
1. Bananas for elephants are like our sweets.
2. Elephants use smell to identify people, like shoes and feet.
3. Elephant's ear is for heat dissipation. Because the ear is spread over the blood vessels, it dissipates heat fast, helps body cool down.
4. Depends on different personality, some of elephants love playing in water, some not, also, they are afraid of cold. They love mud baths to moisturize and repel mosquitoes. “Elephant bath” for tourist can easily lead to dry skin and even ulceration.
5. The normal elephant back is a curved hill-shaped. Their neck and trunk are strong and able to roll up 500 kg. However, the back is very fragile. When be riding all the year round, elephant's back will collapse. Some will even cause their knees unable to bend, that they can only stand sleep.
6. The Phajaan ceremony will separate the elephant into a wooden cage that can only stand. In addition to depriving water and food, they will continue to release noise to keep the elephant awake.
Use a sharp bamboo stick or nail to puncture elephant's toes and use bullhock to cut ears. Be beaten for one hour every morning and evening. When elephants are too weak to stand, they will put on the ropes to hold their necks.
Phajaan means ''destroying'', destroying elephant's mind, letting them collapse... so they can "train" them by fear. And training is still being tortured...
7. If they are lucky, they can drink 5-10 liters of water a day (it should be 140-200), and only dry palm leaves can eat. Many of the disobedient elephants even had their legs broken.... (Bualoi is one of them)
8. Many mothers are forced to mate, their body and mind are greatly hurt, when they smell or see the male elephant, they will straight run hard, but at the same time, because of the chained state, their hips collapse and hind limbs are disabled.
9. In addition to the parents, the baby elephant has a babysitter, and the babysitter will take responsibility for the care. Parents will do their best to protect family. The last thing to fight the poachers is to be killed...including the babysitter, so poachers can take baby elephant away.
10. The recovery period of the rescued elephants may take 1-2 years to return to a [healthier] state, and some will be super terrified when the chain is untied.
*2/28 Update:
Ploy Thong, blind, around 30 years old, spent 16 years in Pattaya, Thailand, taking tourists day in and day out from dawn to sunset, sniffing directions with his trunk. He had been in the circus before.
In rescuing Bua Keaw, elephant foundation volunteers noticed Ploy's suffering, so they negotiated with his owner. Finally, Ploy was rescued by ENP last year (20180203). When he arrived the park, he made a low voice, which attracted the elephants in the forest not far away. They all came up to meet him. They caressed the blind elephant with their trunks and wrapped them around each other. Guess he would never forget the warmth of his new family. (if you are interested, please search keyword Ploy Thong, this section has a video recorded.)
▲ Episode:
Across the river, opposite ENP, is a profit elephant camp. You can see elephants showering many times a day by the river, their skin weak, dry and with cuts. And man with a long hook around his waist, he let elephants knelt down like human so that everyone could take pictures, then let them ride on his back (hundreds of dollars at a time).
Amor asked the ENP staff: "Didn’t any of the elephants escape?"
"A few months ago there was a baby elephant run away, that time all the elephants stopped and went to the baby," he said.
But soon, he was caught back. That night the baby elephant screamed and cried loud across the river, and he did not come out to take any passengers for a week. (they were often kept in cages to prevent escape, starved them, fasted and beaten)
That night, the elephants were still restless, and talking at bedtime. There's nothing we can do for it, because a baby elephant costs millions of dollars, and there are more than 200 elephants on the rescue list who were in more urgent or worse conditions...
In addition to hoping that everyone can pass on the information, please also pray for this baby elephant and other who injured, to be treated better, released, and return to freedom and peace.
* Many elephants in the ENP have detailed records, if you want to participate in the volunteer or knowing these elephants please do search or contact: www.elephantnaturepark.org
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